Here it is December 11th and I have not really even begun to think about Christmas. I mean, I know it is coming and I have a vague recollection that I need to do some preparation for it, but most of all I’m just trying to wrap-up end of the semester grades and keep up with the day to day. When the holidays come, although I’m grateful for special time with family, I mostly feel like I’m chasing my tail trying to add “festive holiday decorations and Christmas cheer” to my things to do list.

While attending  the National Communication Association annual convention a few weeks ago, I sat in on a session that included a paper on how holidays traditionally create a lot more work for women. As the topic was introduced, the mostly female audience laughed and nodded, relating to the research. The room full of academics, many of whom were also mothers, listened intently to the findings as the presenter explained the way women work hard to create and maintain holiday traditions, foster meaningful interaction between family members, and overall, provide food and fun for happy memories. Whew!

No one in the room argued with the worthiness of these goals, we only shook our heads in agreement as we reflected on our own holiday to do lists and the way they run us ragged. For a good cause, of course, but the added pressure for women threatens burnout instead of beauty and bounty. The holiday madness of Black Friday and Cyber Monday add to the buzz, and while some may find the thrill of the season exhilarating, others find it dizzying.

I don’t really have a solution to propose. Eliminating the holidays is a bad idea and I have yet to find a pause button for everyday life (to free up time for special events). Still, the holidays may prompt us to take a look at our values and return to what is most important. Here are a few ideas to find more peace this season.

First, women can share the load a bit more by making holiday preparations a team (family) event. Decorations, gift buying, food preparation, and more can be delegated to other members of the family so “the mom” (or dad) isn’t doing it all.

Second, it is possible to prioritize and even cut out a few “festivities” that aren’t as important. For instance, I have never made Christmas cookies, ever. If you make Christmas cookies, great! But I don’t – it’s just not important to me. Take stock of your holiday traditions and decide if there are any that can be revised or delegated to lighten the load.

Finally, take the pressure off by giving yourself permission to let go of extra activities or tasks that don’t add energy to your life. Do what you love to do and make the rest optional. Wearing yourself out for the holidays isn’t going to benefit your family or you in the long run. Plan your holiday happenings so they are more blessing and less burden.

~ Alyse